So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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