I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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