It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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