I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize