One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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