I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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