Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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