i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
