I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
