yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
