who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
