I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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