i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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