So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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