but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
