Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
