what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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