there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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