i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
