when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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