if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think I won the penis lottery.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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