so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
