Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
