He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
