I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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