Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
