How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
