i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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