Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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