he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
