someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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