hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just want nice things and good sex
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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