Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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