I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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