I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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