another moral hangover. fuck.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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