everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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