Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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