just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
are you so shy because you have an std?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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