Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
vagina is talking i cant
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
