this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
