Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
