I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize