All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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