I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
God, I missed his penis.
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