that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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