you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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