Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
