i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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