Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Someone signed my nipple.
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