i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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