walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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