he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
