No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
