Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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