how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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