I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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