I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize