He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
